Confessions of a pastors wife

Google search: How To Balance It All As A Seminary Wife

Dear friend,

You just searched google for: “How to balance it all as a seminary wife”… and somehow you stumbled upon me. Yes, I’m serious. My stats tell me what people search for that leads them to my site (cool, huh?) but this one…oh my heart. I want to reach my arms around you and hug you.

Dear friend… it’s not about balancing it all. Being a seminary wife, or a doctor’s wife, or a pilot’s wife, or an army wife, or a pastor’s wife is not about balancing everything! It’s about making sacrifices.

When we were in the seminary world…(well…wait we still are! Just now it’s distance and online)… life was so hard! I was taking care of two young kids, completely overwhelmed and inexperienced, meanwhile dear hubby works 40+ hours a week AND THEN DOES HOMEWORK ALL THE NIGHT LONG. I’m sorry but it’s just not a pretty sight. We sacrificed leisure, we sacrificed “balance”, we sacrificed time with family, we sacrificed couple time, family time, oh so many things to make this work.

But let me tell you what happened. Through each sacrifice we grew, we grew in the Lord, we grew as a couple, we got stronger. We became better time managers, we learned to let things go that didn’t really matter, we kept our eye on the prize. The M.Div? or whatever degree it is for you, means something. It means that smart, God-fearing man of yours, has been equipped in the best way possible to live a life on mission for Jesus. It means he can teach, he can pastor, he can disciple, he can go on for more education, he can contribute to theological discourse, he can help others know how to defend the faith well. That end result, is SO worth it!

Technically, my husband is still a seminary student, and he’s almost there! And for the last 4 years he’s also been a pastor. We’re not on campus anymore but we are still *cough* balancing all the things I guess that being a seminary student brings…whatever THAT means!

So, let me leave you with a few tips while you embark on this seminary journey: Get plugged in to a good local church ASAP. Stop asking google these questions and find your community, find your tribe, and then ask them. You will be blessed beyond anything you can glean from blogs on the internet. Next, decide what kinds of sacrifices you’re willing to make to make it all work and how long you’re willing to sacrifice them. Finally, communicate, communicate, communicate with your spouse regularly about all of this. God will guide you through this season.

And…just in case… if the end result, the end degree, the career goals aren’t getting either of you very excited to make these kinds of sacrifices, then maybe you should reconsider. Seminary and ministry is not meant for everyone. If this is something you both are truly passionate about, then keep working toward it, but if it’s not…maybe God has a different kind of career path or lifestyle for you that will be a better fit. A man who suffers and sludges through seminary, loses his luster for ministry, and has an embittered wife because of how hard the process was, will never make a very good pastor. So, weigh the costs, make sure you know what you’re passionate about, and follow God’s leading.

And…finally…if you haven’t seen this video yet, you’re welcome. We all need to stop pretending like BALANCE is actually achievable.

BIG hugs to you, whoever you are, I so get it.

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