Biblical Counseling, DIY

The Craft Fair and My Marriage: The Collateral Damage

Being a vendor at the Junk Crush stretched my marriage and myself in ways I didn’t think it could be stretched. There were moments I was in tears, ready to quit the event and give up because of how it was affecting my relationships with my family members.

FACT CHECK: I can’t do it all. I never pretended I could. But I feel like I would be LYING to you if I didn’t tell you what happened behind the scenes. I share the cute pictures with my furniture where I’m smiling and everything looks so good with a filter on.

But, there’s a lot that went on you don’t know about.

Here’s what I learned.

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If I am honoring and protecting my marriage, I should know that my man is 100% behind what I choose to do. I failed to do that, and we both had to suffer the consequences. Instead of seeking his input I just committed and I didn’t take the time to ask how he felt about it or whether or not he thought I was taking on too much.

Well, sometimes when you get overly excited about something or if you’re feeling competitive or particularly ambitious…you become a bit blind to some of the realities that other people can see clearly.

Free Marriage Tip: Make decisions together! Not apart.

My husband could see that I overcommitted. But, when I finally saw it, it was too late. I picked up too much furniture and I was consumed by getting my pieces done in time for the event. The main consequence we suffered was mostly a strain on our marriage relationship. We lacked time with each other and things were stressful. I should have slowed down and really spent the time talking to my husband, sharing my excitement, but also welcoming his input.

A hobby, and even a job, can be good things. But if they start to consume and take away from the other areas of our life it’s time to rethink and adjust the priorities.

I look back on this event that was just one month ago and I have a lot of mixed emotions. I was very proud of what I put out there and people actually bought my stuff. I had no idea how good that would actually feel!

Yet, when I look at the pictures I also feel humbled. I see how I fell short. I see the mistakes I made and what I wish I’d done differently. I see how that even in spite of my hasty decisions and overcommitment, that in spite of my marriage relationship being tested in new ways, in spite of ALL that, I made a profit and sold most of my stuff. That right there was totally God’s grace to me.

I remember praying on the drive there when I was feeling totally ashamed how I’d been putting my marriage so low on the priority list. In that moment, I prayed something along the lines of, God, I can’t expect to sell a single thing. I have learned my lesson and I am sorry. I don’t deserve to do well at this event at all. So, if I sell even just one thing I will praise you because that is your undeserved grace to me and I want you to get the glory.

I didn’t sell out, but I did much better than expected! When the items sold, I was blown away by God’s grace. Not only that, but my husband was proud of me too, even though things were tense between us at the time.

So, to my surprise, this experience taught me more about my marriage and about my sin than it has taught me about craft fairs and upcycling furniture. I’m thankful for the humbling reminder that my husband and I are a team, that God is for my good and for His glory, and that all things on this earth are meant to glorify God… even upcycling furniture. There may have been some collateral damage on my marriage from this ordeal but we can glorify God through the struggle and come out stronger on the other side, and by God’s grace I believe we did.

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